The Covid 19 pandemic disrupted people’s way of life. Communities had to quickly adopt different “foreign” practices in order to cope with the demands placed by the virus. Social distancing, no touching or hugging yet humans are social beings who thrive on social interaction. One of the hardest demands was the prohibiting of time-honoured burial processes when someone died due to Covid. People were not allowed to bury their loved ones.
Funerals are intended to respect the dead and are a source of healing and closure for the remaining relatives and friends.
Jerina Chineka (36) who resides in Zhombe under Chief Gwesela lost her closest, beloved Uncle during the peak of the pandemic in 2020. She could not even attend the funeral because of travel restrictions. The handful of family members who were able to attend were allowed to go to the cemetery and stand a distance away as health ministry officials buried their loved one.
No body viewing was allowed, he was moved from the funeral home directly to the cemetery. No burying him wearing his favourite clothes. There was no gathering as family and friends to sing, dance and reminisce about the departed one as is customary. This was the new norm as prescribed by government and the World Health Organisation to curb the spread of the virus.
“I never imagined I would go through such pain, not having the chance to mourn together with my family. It was a very trying time for us and to this day, it still upsets me,” she said.
For 27 year old, Fredrick Dube losing his mother to Covid was traumatic and not having the physical support of his extended family was a blow. “Burying my mom alone was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was just me and my two younger siblings, everyone else was too scared to offer any physical support. She died during the peak of Covid and she was simply taken away from us. We didn’t really bury her and people were too scared to associate with us for the longest while. It felt like we were abandoned when we needed family the most and the scar is still there,” he said.
Doctor Nemache Mawere, a Psychiatrist said that people who were unable to bury their loved ones can get stuck at any stage of the grief reaction cycle. The cycle is composed of shock, denial, anger, depression and acceptance. When they are stuck in shock they remain with excessive anxiety symptoms where they are always worrying about death and dying. If they are stuck in denial they are always not very sure of themselves and will always try to figure out what really happened. “But most people are stuck in shame where they feel guilty for not doing things they think they should have done. This is most common for people who were unable to bury their loved ones, they couldn’t provide money or do anything. They feel they were useless,” he said.
Grief counselling is needed for people who are in this predicament.
According to an article in the Global Press Journal, burial and funeral rituals rely on in-person contact and oral tradition. The elderly who know what is to be done passes along to the next generation both the how and why of those rituals. Traditionally, in most cultural setups in Zimbabwe people gather for at least three days when mourning someone especially if they are an adult. After the burial family and friends return to the home of the bereaved for lunch after. It is customary for mourners who went to the cemetery to wash their hands at the gate. This ritual is believed to cleanse people who participated in the burial rite of dirt and spirits. In addition, the Journal, “Power Politics During and After Funerals” states that for one to become an ancestor, one ought to receive proper burial rites. For this to happen all rites have to be observed as culture and tradition demand.
These practices are age old beliefs that bring relief and closure to the grieving.